Perfect By Atta

Oke oke tau kok udah lama ngilang di telen bumi gegara UTS yang menyengsarakan waktu tidur, les setiap hari yang nguras banyak tenaga ampe kurus, pr yang berjibun eh tautaunya balik malah bawa oneshot bukan lanjutin yang lain :p

Ditunggu aja yaa lanjutan Falling, She Keeps Me Warm, Mistakes, Confusednya :3

InsyaAllah kita bakal update lebih rajin lagi at least ada updatean lah seminggu :3 jadi jangan pernah bosen nungguin jazzatta :p

udahlah gausah banyak cingcong…. shoot!


I was bored to death. Just one of my random fluffy romance that I wrote in my free time during the busiest schedule that ever happened in my life. Pardon if there are a lot of mistakes, english is not my native language^^  and this is my first ever Taeny fanfiction with english, others were with Bahasa^^.


Tittle : Perfect

Link Asianfanfic (A.k.a AFF) : Perfect

Genre : Romance


A hundred eyes were fixed on her. but only a pair with a beautiful glimpse of heaven.

A story about Taeny.




Tiffany is perfect, just like one of those characters in a fairytale. She is particularly intelligent, passing the top of her school in any subjects. Recently, she has just appointed to be the leader of the student council. She is also the founder of one of the most-acknowledged school organization which is recognized nation-wide by all of science universities and facilities in the country.

She spends all her life by doing her daily activities on understanding theories, writing good reports and acing her papers. Passing the papers with “A” marks written all over it is also not a new thing to find about her.

Tiffany loves to communicate with people. She doesn’t mind giving them simple advices since it usually helps to make her a little bit relieved. Just like a fairy who landed on earth, she likes to help people in need.

According to all of those hot boys out there, Tiffany is the most attractive girl in their school.

Tiffany is more complicated than being smart and sexy. She has this gorgeous face and dimple and crescent moon appears when she shows her beautiful smile that would make people around her be mesmerized by her beauty. Even some of them would gladly following her every inch to step closer and enjoy her beauty.

Tiffany didn’t realize that her beauty or whatever it is could affect other people from their business. But she realized that a lot of boys have been asking her out for a few times, that’s when she finally stepped out of it, yes, dating stuff.

She once had a really hot boy as her boyfriend, she was crazy in love with him, he made her really depressed to be loved, but he was ignoring her a lot, she didn’t really know the reason, the only thing she knew that he thought that she was childish, their relationship couldn’t last for a long time because Tiffany had realized that she was just stupid for holding on to a jerk like him.

And that is when she started try to learn new things. That is one of the reason why she likes to giving people her advices, because simply, she just doesn’t want someone to end up like her.

Her hates for being in love was magically disappear, until that girl came a long in her frame. Make her froze in her place for a few seconds when she heard her soft voice, maybe she got goose bumps and just knew that it’s one of the best moment in her life, she basically doesn’t really like music, but it was the best music she had ever heard.

“God! You’re finally finished!”

A girl looked rush as she reached at her place, she gave her a sorry look, she’s so cute and looked pretty tired, Tiffany chuckled for a moment, she then pouted, and held back a grin when she gained herself a quick kiss on the cheek. “That’s not fair,” she whined, tugging lightly on the latter’s opened jacket. Tiffany hugs her tightly, like she had been missing for years, she actually missed this warm feeling she gets whenever the latter hugs her back really tight and somehow it made her feels safe.

“I’m sorry Fany-ah. How long have you been waiting for me?” Taeyeon strokeed her hair gently ,she runs her fingers through strands of her hair playfully, or even brush the hair away from her eyes making the latter’s butterflies in her stomach want to explode anytime soon.

“Maybe it’s about an… hour?” Tiffany drags her by her soft hand, walking together with fingers intertwined and making sure that there is no one around them, Tiffany doesn’t really like the idea for public display, she basically wasn’t sure for her decision.

“I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting for me. I should’ve just texted you to went home instead.”

Taeyeon stopped her steps, turn the other latter into her embrace, she touched her cheeks, her earlobes, and her neck, and eventually to gave her a soft speck, making the latter smile widely as she gives her a soft kiss a few moment later.

“It’s fine Taeyeon, anyway I already finished my next project while waiting for you here, so it’s actually fine. I won’t do it at home though, too lazy.”

Taeyeon chuckled for a moment seeing her girlfriend looking all cute like a pink unicorn.

Taeyeon is wonderful, she’s really pretty, Taeyeon the other hand, she’s pretty much an inverse figure of her girlfriend. Despite Tiffany who really likes to meet new people, communicates with great people, being the leader of a great organization, organize everything perfectly, much like social people, Taeyeon is a shy girl, couldn’t adapt with new people easily and spends a lot of her free time in her room writing new music.

She basically a normal student, sometimes she’ll get a perfect score, but sometimes she’ll in the lowest position, she doesn’t really like loud noises, crowded place, she basically a normal girl who will feel excited when the bell tells her that time’s up for school and she will run to her home and locked herself up in her room until tomorrow morning, and start the day all over again.

It was Friday night when she found her miracle. She was talking with her friends, it was still not far from the new inventions that she made for their school students to gave them more resources for student’s homework. The girl was taking her steps on the stage, a loud cheers from the audience were all over the room. She was looking all pretty and cute, a few recognized her.

She was Kim Taeyeon. The multitalented student that lately had been talked the most. Some of them may call her a freak because she basically doesn’t have a lot of friends neither a close friend, or they thought.

But no one could resist her perfection. Even Tiffany.

The best moment of her music life, it was the greatest 4 minutes in her life for hearing the soft and calm voice came from the beautiful girl. Somehow it made her feels really calm and comfortable, her innocent look made Tiffany really curious. Once the girl had finished her performance, Tiffany started giving a bunch of questions to people around her.

She asked a lot of about the girl who just finished her performance. She was really surprised  at first that the girl belong to her school because she didn’t even know who she was although the latter was the president of student council and she pretty well could recognized a lot of student faces especially the special one.

Taeyeon was special.

The next day she found herself in front of Taeyeon’s mathematic class. Waiting for the girl to appears, she was really attached to a girl, heck, she thought she was really straight but then again Taeyeon’s figure haunted her mind all night and she couldn’t stop thinking about her.

She was shocked at first when she recognized that the perfect girl came looking for her. It was a small talk that Tiffany asked for her recommendation about a simple good musics for her next event. And Taeyeon seems doesn’t really mind, she was glad at least she could do something for her school. Beside it doesn’t hurt that bad to talk things with someone amazing like Tiffany.

They end up being close friends since then. Whenever Taeyeon at her worst with her papers, Tiffany was always there, help her out like she was an angel for her, helping her with her assignment even teach her some subjects that she considered really hard to understand.

Or Taeyeon keeping herself awake to watch over Tiffany’s back when Tiffany couldn’t get enough sleep to finish her project even until midnight, she didn’t mind driving in the middle of the night when Tiffany needs her to accompany the latter. She even brought her a healthy food and her favorites foods.

In weekends they spent their time laying on comfy couch in Tiffany’s or Taeyeon’s apartment, feeling their skin against each other, they don’t even know how they end up being really close even cuddling for hours without getting tired and bored.

Their friendship wasn’t last longer than three months until they decided to make it official.

She has been a really good girlfriend for Tiffany. She always takes care of Tiffany, make sure that Tiffany always eat her vitamins in the morning, make sure that the latter go to bed early and tell her to eat more healthy. she always picks her up every night whenever Tiffany has a heavy schedule outside their school, makes sure that the latter safe.

She always managed to make Tiffany feels so special. She always want to show how much she loves her.

“Josh talked to me.”


“He asked whether you’re single or nah.”

“The cute one!? E-ah i mean the tall one in your biology class?”

“Yes, he was really excited waiting for answer.”

“Go on?”

“He was more excited when he got the answer.”

“What did you said, Taeyeon?” The latter frowned, stopping her girlfriend to take another steps, she doesn’t really like it when Taeyeon act like there is no connection between Tiffany and her in front of people who absolutely chasing after her or Tiffany. Deep down Tiffany knew that her girlfriend was jealous, but Taeyeon can manage.

Her feelings she always hides, she doesn’t want her girlfriend feeling uncomfortable for her jealousy, she knew that Tiffany has a lot of fanboys out here, and always trying to get to know her. It’s normal because she realized too that her girlfriend is The social butterfly in her school.

“That you’re single?”


“Why don’t you just said that i was in a relationship!?

“No i don’t want you to get in trouble! You said so yourself.”

The situation is getting tensed up, Taeyeon seems really calm and Tiffany doesn’t really like the situation, she’s feeling bad for remembered that she was the one who asked her to hide their connection.

Tiffany hugs the latter tightly.

And there is no intention to let go.

She just love her dorky too much. She couldn’t imagine life without Taeyeon. She is her everything. Even if she was the one who are very careful about her relationship.


A smile magically appeared on her gorgeous face’s surface a she heard that calm voice tickles her heart.

A voice that could make her feels warm.

“Can’t.” Of course she just want to fool her girlfriend.

Taeyeon frowned. She actually missed her so much that she couldn’t handle, Tiffany had been really busy lately, but of course then again there is nothing she could do. She hugged Tiffany tightly. She closed her eyes. She could smell her perfume, could sense the strawberry shampoo through her hair.

“I’m sorry.”

“No it’s okay, i know that you’re busy. So what do you have now?”

“Oh it’s about our new articles and project.”

“What kind of project?”

“Uh, you know. We thought that Media leaked of the spying on domestic and International communications, including citizens, by intelligence agencies is important to be shar–” She stops right there.

Taeyeon chuckles for a moment. She’s actually glad to hear all of those things that Tiffany talked about. Actually she enjoys it when her girlfriend says all of things that she wants. Hearing her voice is enough, even her intelligent mind like that, Tiffany is beyond amazing for her.

“I’m sorry.”

“What? It’s fine. I actually enjoy it.”


“No i’m not!”

“What kind of people who enjoy about me talking about politics non-stop like that?”

“Well i am that kind of people. I love everything about you.”

Tiffany could feel the fluttering feelings she has in her stomach. Couldn’t stop herself for smiling. How lucky she is to have someone amazing like her.


“Yes, even if you are very loud.”

“Yah!” Tiffany pats her hand lightly.


“Kim Taeyeon!”



“But I love her that way. She’s perfect that way.”

Tiffany chuckles. For a few seconds she could feel the world has stops.

“Cheesy much?” Taeyeon laughs a little. It was true after all.

“Only with you.”

Those three words could make Tiffany grin as the smile grows wider. She let her fingers intertwined with Taeyeon’s. she doesn’t know since when she’s head over heels in love with Taeyeon.

All she knew that the latter had successfully made her feels to be loved again, made her feels life isn’t that bad, she didn’t realize until Taeyeon showed her how amazing it feels to spend all weekends just stays at the apartment feeling their skins against each other, and she knew that she doesn’t want any other way.

“Come on, I’ll drive you.”


“You said you’ll have a meeting in an hour.”

“Uh, Oh. I was just playing, silly.”

Tiffany gives her a soft peck, making the other latter smile, Tiffany is her everything.

“Let’s have a dinner then.”


She had finished her last line. Now it’s time to pick up her girlfriend at the cafeteria. Couldn’t handle it any longer, she just wanted to pull her into her embrace. The day has ended, today was really tiring, in the morning she got scolded by her professor because she haven’t finish her project for classical music that they have been working on in a weeks,

Because practically, this week of course she was stayed up all night and helped Tiffany for her assignment, and  after that, feeling too tired to do her own assignment. She just didn’t want her girlfriend exhausted, she is the one who had the idea even though Tiffany had told her to went home instead staying in Tiffany’s apartment helping her. Taeyeon was stubborn, Tiffany should’ve known

Even during the break Taeyeon couldn’t get off of her art class because she had to finish her papers, and in hours later she had a practice for her performance next week, and again,she can’t avoid a few cute guys that had been asking her about her girlfriend, although a few had been asking her out too.

How she wish she could show everyone that Tiffany is her’s.

She chuckled at the moment she’s thinking about that. That is almost impossible.

“Taeyeon-ah!” She stopped. Turning her gaze and found her shortie best friend running to her place.

“Hhh—ff..” Taeyeon chuckled as she watch her best friend take another deep breath, that made Sunny pats her head lightly.

“What happened about being so nice to me this weeks? I won the last battle.”

“You laughed at me!”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. What is it?”

“Nothing, I just want to catch up with you.”

“Aw.. miss me?”

“Not even a little. But I’m pretty bored now why don’t we go to the mall and watch a movie? I heard that new movie coming up”

“Can’t. uh-m..”

“Where are you going anyway? Aren’t you had finished your practice?”

“Yes but I have something to do now.”

“Pfffhh! Like you have a boyfriend or something.”

Sunny grabs her by her hand while humming some random tone, earning a little cheeky smile from the latter. It’s true that both of them haven’t spend their free time a little longer in a while, since she had been busy with Tiffany and Sunny was really busy with her heavy schedule.

Sunny was her friend from elementary school and she became her bestfriend until now. They only have two same classes together. Of course Sunny is the closest human being that ever happened in Taeyeon’s life. Everyone knew that. Sunny knew everything about Taeyeon but not her love life. Taeyeon didn’t talked much about her love life, but little did she know that Sunny knew a few things about her, such as when Taeyeon had a crush on a cute boy back then in junior high school, or when Taeyeon had been rejected by a really hot boy back then in heir first grade of high school.

But Sunny never knew about Tiffany.

The only thing she knew that her bestfriend finally having a famous friend, and she was glad now she is not the only one that Taeyeon can lean on. She always knew that Taeyeon is such a really nice kid. She is much stronger than everyone thoughts. She always make other business as her priority than herself. She always put anyone else above than herself. But sometimes Taeyeon didn’t realized that she showed her fragile side, and Sunny always try her best to always be there for her. No matter what.

“Where are we going? Didn’t I say that  I can’t?” Taeyeon chuckles for a moment, let her bestfriend dragging her and make her steps into the same line. Well she still has thirty minutes before she pick up her girlfriend though.

“I know, I know, okay? I just want to get a really nice hot sweet coffe in the cafeteria. And I want you to accompany me since I have no one to drag with. Just 5 minutes, won’t hurt you or your business or whatever.”

“Okay, okay. Slow down.”

“So, do you?” says Sunny as they walking and passing a few of students and the locker room,


“Do, you, have, a boyfriend?”

Taeyeon chuckled. “Nope.” But I have a girlfriend.

“So why are you acts like you’re busy and have a date whenever I asked you to accompany me?”

“Well. I was, busy.”

“Too busy until you neglected your apartment?”

“Wha- how did you know?”

“You thought that i’m stupid? I got worried when you haven’t contacted me these weeks. I knocked your door almost a thousand time. So I guess you’re out. But isn’t that weird that you’re out even a whole week? So not Taeyeon.”

Taeyeon again laugh at her best friend expression, but feels so warm knowing that is still another person who cares about her.

“I’m sorry, I always got home at midnight this past weeks.”

“What? Why?”

“Doing some random stuff. I practiced  a lot since my performance next week should be good, or my professor said.”

“Ah.. okay. I got it now. So you don’t have a boyfriend then. You should get one!”

Sunny cheerfully turn her gaze around her hoping some random cute guys would appears somehow and introduce him to her best friend immediately.

“I don’t need a boyfriend. Like any boy friends wants to be my boyfriend.”

“What is wrong with your sentences? I’m quite sure I don’t get what you mean. But I got that you’re pretty, cute, nice, have a beautiful smile, perfect voices.”

“Aw.. that’s very nice of you.”

“How about Daniel? Damn he’s hot!”

“He’s a player.”

“But still, he’s hot.”

“What about Joong Ki? He’s quite cute.”

“He’s a douche.”

“Yes I know. How about… Won Bin? He’s cute and I heard that he has been chasing you for months?”

“True but I don’t really like sports guys.”

“How about Baekhyun?”

“Surely not my type.”

“But, why? He’s good at singing, you’re at the same interest!”

“Nope, I don’t really like flower boys.”

“Why do you have so many types again?”

Taeyeon chukled for a moment, of course. Her type is definitely someone who could make her heart jumps at the moment their eyes met. And that would be only her.

“How about… Kwon Ji Young? “

“I don’t really like nerds.”

“Gosh you’re so stubborn! Speaking of nerds… there she is, The Flawless Hwang.”

“Your famous friend.”

Their steps stopped at the moment their eyes met the figure who is laughing now around her friends, looking all beautiful with her glasses on and books and pencil in their table.

Sunny drags her to the table on the corner of the cafeteria. Eyes still haven’t leave the beautiful figure while Sunny busy looking at the menu.

“Isn’t she so beautiful?” says Sunny after she has done with her order. Taeyeon just give her nods and smiles, turning her gaze into the menu.

“How’s thing going on with you and Tiffany Hwang?”

“Oh it’s good. Sometimes I helped her with her papers.”

“What papers?”

“Music papers.”

“Oh I should’ve known. Mathematic papers? Never happen.”


“What? It’s true. You barely get an A in Math though.”

“Whatever, I got triple A’s this month.”

“What!? That can’t be possible!”


Sunny chuckled. She believed her, she knew that Taeyeon worked hard for it. Counting numbers isn’t her type but she would do anything to get a perfect score, she is a hard working girl. But still she find it pretty funny whenever Taeyeon get a perfect score in Mathematics.

“But, with a little bit of magic by Tiffany Hwang.” Says Taeyeon,

She smiled while stealing another glances at the figure who is still laughing with her friends, feeling very proud from herself for having such a wonderful girlfriend.

“Yeah right. I should’ve known. By the way, do you know josh?”

“Yes, he’s in my biology class actually. What’s up with him anyway?”

“So lucky! He’s very hot! and he’s so kind, and humble, and cute, and smart, and sexy, he’s good at sport, good at music, good at counting functions, good at learning formulas, isn’t he perfect? Gosh!” her ears feeling a little bit irritated by hearing her bestfriend praising someone who absolutely chasing her girlfriend, deep down, she swears the god she could feel her heart falling, it hurts her a little, realizing that she is nothing compares to the boy.

“Oh! And I heard! He’s dating with Tiffany Hwang,..”

“Uh—uhuk!” She choked her sweet tea after hearing those words, somehow it cuts her heart a little,

“Slow down Taeyeon, drink a little. So, was it right? I mean, you’re quite close with that girl.”

“I don’t know. How come you said that ?”

“Oh, Tiffany Hwang is in the same class with me, Physics class. Her friends and her talked about josh a lot. And I heard from my friends that Josh chasing her, like, Josh really likes her. And I heard that Tiffany returned the feelings, maybe? She seems pretty excited when she knew the fact that Josh likes her by her acts in my class.”

It left Taeyeon face with no expression, she takes another sips at her tea. Stealing glances to the other direction, watching her girlfriend laughing and smiling with no end.

Like a knife has successfully stabs her soft heart, she could feel her walls breaks down.

She then remembers her girlfriend has been talked about the boy a few this week. Even she just talked about how cute he is, and heck, she thought it’s normal because Tiffany is still a girl, A girl should’ve admire a boy, she couldn’t lie either if the boy was quite cute. Guess, this relationship couldn’t last longer than she thoughts, she wants Tiffany to be happy, because she deserve it. Tiffany is perfect, and she deserves something beyond perfect.

She looked at herself who absolutely nothing compared to the boys out there-or she thoughts, boys who absolutely so much better than her and could give anything to Tiffany. She couldn’t even get a perfect score in mathematics without  sacrifice her sleeps a month. She couldn’t even throw a volley ball without hurting her arms, she couldn’t even do the right formulas and steps in her chemistry class,

All she could was just drive Tiffany to their school, pick her up, brought her favorite snacks, take her for a simple walk, takes her to movies, stay all night accompany her, sing for her to sleep, she has nothing special, or she thought.

“I think, Tiffany and Josh would be a perfect match, don’t you think?”



‘From : Yeppeuni^^

where are you? Still in the audio room ? have you finished your practice? could I come to your place now and pick you up? And have a dinner somewhere? i miss you, reply this as fast when you read this, okay? I love you.’

‘To : Yeppeuni^^

I’m done. Could you look at your right side? I love you.’

She then puts her phone to her bag. Turning her eyes and finds the latter walking to her place with a beautiful mesmerizing smile in her face,

“Hey” Tiffany hugs her lightly for one seconds, they both realizing that there is still Sunny over there watching them with a smile.

“Hey I’m Tiffany. You must be Sunny, right? Taeyeon’s bestfriend” Sunny stand herself up and shakes Tiffany’s hand with hers. She could feel how soft this famous girl’s skin.

“Yep! You’re right! And you must be Tiffany Hwang, Taeyeon’s friend, right? I’m sorry if it’s too late to introduce myself properly, even we get in the same class, right?” Suny cheerfully shows her smile to the girl, receiving another smiles from Tiffany, Taeyeon could only stares blankly at her tea. Still thinking about the last topic she had with her bestfriend.

“No it’s okay, I’m sorry too. So.. can I join you with Taeyeon?” It makes Taeyeon looks up and smile.

“Ah sure! Sure! Here! Have a seat”

“Thank you.”

“Taeyeon? stop staring at your tea. Drink it shortie! What’s up with you anyway, a few minutes ago you were fine.”

Taeyeon could only give her smile to her bestfriend, stirs her tea and sips a little.

“Taetae? Are you okay?”


“Euh, I’m sorry I’m used to calls her with that nickname”

“No it’s okay it’s just pretty cute though. Yah! Taeyeon, you okay, buddy?”

Taeyeon shows her smile and nods, she didn’t know how to react now. All she knows that she is confused about what she’s facing right now.

Reality hits her hard.

“I’m fine, just feeling a little bit tired because of the practice.”

“You should sleep early tonight, okay?” Tiffany starts to pack Taeyeon’s belongings on the table; papers, music notes, pencil, and pen to Taeyeon’s bag. Preparing her girlfriend’s stuff to get going.

“I can’t. still have a lot of homework.”

“What homework?”


“I’ll finish it tonight so you could rest, okay?”

“No way! You’re always like that! Don’t have to, I’ll do it on my own.”

“It’s okay Taeyeon, I’ll stay in your apartment”

“It’s fine but you don’t have t—“

“I want to!” Tiffany cuts off Taeyeon’s sentence.

“Okay, okay. But let me finish my work on my own, alright?”

“But let me help you, please?”

“Deal. But you should sleep early too, you’ve been very busy this weeks I don’t want you to get sick.”

“I won’t. I’ll make you a soup later, or we could take out food tonight.”

“Fine by me.”

Sunny giving a little fake cough, making the both of them jerked a bit. How come they didn’t remember that Sunny was still there.

“I’m still here if you guys want to know.”

Both of them could feel their embrassments , cheeks turning into a little bit more red. But still, fear of losing Tiffany couldn’t get out the latter’s mind. She can’t even imagine life without Tiffany, but then again she doesn’t want to be selfish, Tiffany deserve the best after all. But can she give Tiffany what she deserve?

“So, Tiffany, i heard that you’re dating with Josh?”

She’s losing her mind right now. Looking at her girlfriend a little bit shocked with smile as she stirs her tea slowly, doesn’t it hurts when she couldn’t even do anything about it instead of staring with all of her hopes that Tiffany won’t leave her.

“What? Who told you that?” Tiffany takes a glances at the other latter who is busy staring outside the transparent glass right beside them now. Stares blankly, she knows that Taeyeon doesn’t like this kind of conversation,

“A lot of people have been talking about it lately.”

“Of course no.” She tried to give her smile to Taeyeon’s bestfriend, while her hand searching for Taeyeon’s hand who is in front of her right now, once she found it, she starting fit Taeyeon fingers with hers, making the other latter a little bit jerked and turn her eyes to Tiffany, Tiffany the other hand feeling a little bit relieved to see her girlfriend’s smiles. She just wanted Taeyeon to know that everything’s gonna be okay. They will be okay.

“Oh, too bad. He’s hot though, but didn’t he like.. Chasing you or something?”

“Yes, lately. He has been asking me out for a few times.”

“Such a pity because i thought you guys would be a perfect match, don’t you think Taeyeon?”

Taeyeon just chuckles and nods, Tiffany could see a little pain in her eyes, that makes her to hold Taeyeon’s hand tightly.

“Oh and Tiffany, please teach your friend right here how to get a boyfriend, i can’t handle it she’s just too stubborn.” Sunny pointing her index finger to Taeyeon,

There’s a chuckle from the latter,

“Will do.” Says Tiffany as she gives Sunny her smiles.

“Can we just go home? I’m tired” Taeyeon was trying to move on from the topic, it was true after all, she’s feeling exhausted, she just want to take the latter to her embrace and close her eyes till tomorrow morning.

“Okay then, I’ll let you to take a res—“ Sunny stops her words as she staring how Tiffany put her jacket off-luckily she’s wearing a long sleeve shirt, and put her jacket into Taeyeon’s body softly, she then fixes Taeyeon’s hair to the other side, trying to make Taeyeon feels more comfortable.

A smile began to spreads on Sunny’s face. 


Taeyeon heaves a sigh as she flops down onto the couch. But a moment later she stands herself up, watching her girlfriend struggles to put off her shoes, her smiles widens.

“You should take a shower, I’ll prepare your dinner, okay?” says Taeyeon as she reached her place, she then bend down and remove her girlfriend’s laces and put off her shoes slowly, Tiffany couldn’t get any happier by any gesture that her girlfriend’s makes.

“You should take a rest Taeyeon-ah, you had practiced a lot today. I can get my dinner on my own, we could take out? Beside I didn’t bring any clothes with me, maybe I’ll go to my apartment after I finish your homewo—-“

Taeyeon stops her from talking by puts her point fingers in front of her mouth, she then gives her smile to Tiffany and in a split second Taeyeon hugs her tightly. It is really comfortable being in Tiffany’s arms. How can Taeyeon keep living if she ever lose moments like this, moments where Tiffany is her’s and she is Tiffany’s.

“I’m not tired, I will never, as long as you’re here. We don’t have to take outs foods, I’ll make you a dinner, on my own, not some kind of your favorite food, tteokbokki, pizza, or whatever, aren’t you get bored of it? and clothes to change? What am I ? a stranger? I’m your girlfriend, all of things belong to me, belong to you too. This is all yours. Even this apartment, I always considered as yours too. Finish my homework? Not gonna happen ever again. Go home at midnight? It’s too dangerous Fany-ah. This is your home, this is our home. Do you understand?”

Taeyeon gives a soft peck on the latter’s lips and of course with a simple smile.

Tiffany’s smiles widens, she couldn’t get any happier than this, she thought her life was perfect, hiding the tiny flutters that always appear whenever she’s receiving her girlfriend’s care and attention.

Without even looking at the latter, Taeyeon taking another steps into the kitchen and begin to fight with some noises while Tiffany takes her time to take a shower.


“Taeyeon, let’s sleep. You should rest.”

“No, but you should. I haven’t finish it.” Still busy working on her assignment, she didn’t even bother to take a look at her sleepy girlfriend who lie back her body on the carpet, Tiffany has been waiting for Taeyeon to finish her homework, but it seems her eyes couldn’t work together with her intention.

“We could finish it tomorrow, you’re tired. Don’t force yourself like that.” Tiffany gets up from her position, she sits beside Taeyeon who’s still keeping her eyes to her papers. Tiffany observing the latter, she didn’t realized that her smile appeared a little as she’s watching serious looks on Taeyeon’s face. She observes every inch of that flawless face of her girlfriend’s.

“You’re staring, you should sleep.” Says Taeyeon, eyes never leave her papers. Realizing that her girlfriend has been watching her in a few seconds.

Are you even a human?” She mumbled as she keeps her eyes on Taeyeon.

Taeyeon’s cheeks are getting more pink, she couldn’t even hide her smiles perfectly, feeling her stomach is gonna explode anytime soon whenever she hears such a compliment from her girlfriend.

“You’re blushing!” Says Tiffany excitedly she then moves a little bit closer towards the latter, shoulders locked by each other.

“Look at me, Taeyeon.”

“H-huh? No, i have to finish all of this.”

“Just do it.”

“Fine, but after this you should sleep, deal?”

Tiffany gives her little mischievous smirks,


Taeyeon keeps staring at those beautiful eyes, she could find her peace just by seeing them blinking, her minds then again starts running with a mess  thoughts, she’s freaking afraid to lose her, to lose Tiffany. She couldn’t even think straight when someday she’ll wake up alone at look at her empty side each morning, things couldn’t get worse.

“I like it when you keeps staring at me.” Says Tiffany as she circling her hands on Taeyeon’s neck slowly, mesmerized by Taeyeon’s gentle eyes.

“You’re beautiful Fany-ah.”

Tiffany could feel her cheeks are getting warmer by the compliment, she then turn her gaze into another direction trying to avoid Taeyeon’s eyes, she could pass out anytime soon whenever she gives her loving compliments.

“Please, don’t leave me.” Says Taeyeon with a really soft and shaky voices, a second later Taeyeon could see how surprised the other latter was. Taeyeon gives her a simple smile,

“What are you talking about?”

“I won’t, ever, leave you”  She caressing Taeyeon’s cheeks very carefully, her eyes filled with concerned, how could Taeyeon even think about it? She can’t even starts a day without Taeyeon on it, Taeyeon basically became her another oxygen to keeps her living,

“Just, please, don’t leave me” says Taeyeon again, this time her eyes feels a little bit warmer, she could feel her eyes are getting wet, it makes the other latter once again a little bit jerked

“Taeyeon-ah, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, it j-just.. I’m scared.”

“Scared? What are you scared of? I’m here. Don’t tell me you’re thinking about what was Sunny said.”

Taeyeon grew quiet, she’s scared to face the latter,

“Hey, look at me.” Tiffany turn the latter’s face slowly to her, her eyes filled with concerns

“I won’t ever leave you, for anything, anyone.”

“I’m scared..”

Tiffany holds the latter into her embrace, she could feels the scents of her hair. She soothes her back very soft, caressing the latter’s as a fragile creature that all her life she wants to protect. She could feels her neck are getting wet, one thing for sure, Taeyeon has been crying very quietly, all she could is just to holds her and convince the latter that she wouldn’t leave her. Taeyeon moves closer, snuggles to the latter’s neck searching for something that could make her a little bit warmer.

“Don’t be scared, I’m here. Promise me you won’t leave either.”

“—I-i p-promise.”

“Good then. “

“But.. i’m scared..”

“You’re the best. You’re perfect. You’re amazing. You’re all I ever wanted.”

“But i—“

“No buts. You’re mine, and I’m all yours.”

Tiffany leaned her forehead on Taeyeon’s. “I’ve never been more sure about anything else in my life. Besides, not many people can be so lucky as I am to have such a wonderful girlfriend like you.” She wipes her tears away with her thumbs,

“I love you Fany-ah.”

I love you too Taeyeon.

Tiffany felt goosebumps on her arms when Taeyeon’s fingers touched her face. She saw the gentle loving eyes and couldn’t stop herself from tilting her head, slowly closing the gap between them, letting their lips touch for a couple of seconds. But then Tiffany pulls her into another kiss, she then circles her hand on Taeyeon’s neck while the latter put her arms to Tiffany’s waist,

“This feels nice,” she mumbled between the tugs, shivering when Taeyeon’s hands rested on her waist then moved, arms wrapping around her body.

It takes a little longer than she thought.

Since then, Taeyeon choose to believes her.


To : My gorgeous dork^^

‘Good morning lovely! , I’m sorry for being useless last night and couldn’t convince you enough that I won’t ever leave you, You won’t lose me Taetae, I won’t ever let you go, I just, don’t want to lose you, I, just, love you so much Taetae, please remember that. I hope I could meet you soon today, I don’t have a strength to wake you up, You’re so cute when you’re sleeping. I’m looking forward for the day when I could see your bare face every morning! Please don’t forget to eat your breakfast ,check your kitchen! your strawberry jam pancake is ready to give you energy for today! Don’t forget to eat your vitamins too, oh and baby, I prepared your lunch on the table, don’t forget to bring it or you’ll forget your lunch later, okay? Promise me to be a good girl, I love you Taeyeon. Call me later, okay?’

To : My Cutie pie^^

See you! I love you so much Fany-ah, I can’t imagine a day without you. Please stay.

To : My gorgeous dork^^

I won’t! Even if when we’re having kids, that won’t make me leave you, we could still see each other while watching our kids playing in the park, okay? Their Appas won’t even know!

Only if Tiffany knew somehow the message hurts Taeyeon than she could ever imagine. When she, and Taeyeon having kids. That means when they’re both having their own family with a guy, a normal family. And that means.. they’re both won’t last forever as Taeyeon wanted. It hurts her a little more.


That bitch!” mumbles Hyoyeon as she keeps tapping her phones,

“What bitch?”

“That Flawless Goddess Hwang.”

Taeyeon stops her writing, puts her pencil down slowly.

“What’s wrong?”

“I hate that girl, she had stole all of hot-cute- boys from us!”

Sunny chuckles while Taeyeon gives her little smile,

“You should tell Taeyeon and tell Tiffany to stop her beauty then.”

“Yeah Taeyeon, why don’t you run to your famous friend and tell her to stop. Geez. She’s perfect.”

Says Hyoyeon as she keeps looking of Tiffany’s photos each one that appears on her timeline.

“Calm down, like she will accept one of those boys though.” Sunny keeps focusing on her snacks, she’s wondering how could their canteen make her a really delicious cheesecake.

“Why not? I mean, Tiffany is basically a definition of perfection. She could accept anyone, boys would death to be her boyfriend.”

“Tiffany already has someone special.”

“What!? Who!?”

“Someone you may knew..”

Taeyeon choked. She can’t breathe in the mean time. Her heartbeats stops for a second, she couldn’t even think clear, her minds gone blank.

“What are you talking about, Sunny?” Hyoyeon still couldn’t get the point,

“And that person, is a girl.”says Sunny as she take a sip from her juice after spelling each sentence to get her point clear.

That’s enough.

“I’m sorry I think I’m going to my class now.” Taeyeon rush to pack her things to her bag in split second she takes a fast walk into the door, what if Sunny knew? She couldn’t explain it now,  she wasn’t ready to lose her bestfriend. She doesn’t want Hyoyeon feeling disgust for her or even pity her. She keeps walking faster to her next class, trying to forget her problem for a while and drowns herself to Music Class. Her favorite subject.

The girl keeping her steps steady as she reach her destination. Her eyes moves around the room searching for someone that she has been waiting for nearly two hours. She got worried because the girl she keeps waiting for apparently haven’t show her figure since an hour ago, as the scheduled should be.

“Uh, I’m sorry to bother. Do you have any idea where Tiffany Hwang is?” asked her to one of the girl who’s in the chit-chat time with her group.

“Ah, You’re Kim Taeyeon, right?”  Taeyeon nodded as her smile appeared on her face. “Yes, do I know you?”

“Let me introduce myself first then, Hello, I’m Ji-Eun! You can call me Ji-Eun, I’m, your junior, sunbaenim.” As the younger girl offering her hand asking for a handshake from Taeyeon.

“Oh don’t forget, she’s your fan too Taeyeon-unnie.” The girls chuckled as they kept their distance a little bit further for the both.

Of course that makes the younger girl looked down, she could feel her cheeks are getting redder, a soft chuckle following by Taeyeon’s handshake soft gesture, making the younger girl a little bit surprised.

“So, Uhm… Tiffany unnie?”

“Ah yes, have you seen her?”

“She’s in the studio, I think the science club just started their meetings not long ago Unnie. But I’m sure they’re gonna finish soon, because practically I’m one of their members.”

“I see. Why are you here then? Shouldn’t be like you’re in the middle of argument or something? Talking about how’s in the world E equal mc² ? or maybe  what’s the real reason that electricity can flow through graphene at high frequencies without energy loss?”

The young girl laughed a little bit loud that makes Taeyeon’s smile appeared again, feeling a little bit relieved at least she isn’t alone anymore,

“That is too boring unnie, I basically don’t really like those kind of things, but my professor recommends me to get into the club because he trusted me some kind of his project.”

“Ah, what kind of project? So I assure you that you’re one of teachers favorites then.”

“I’m not quite sure whether you’ll like to hear it, Unnie.”  Joked the young girl.

“You’re right. Don’t talk about it.” Says Taeyeon, earning a chuckle from the young girl.

“Do you like music? Your guitar is quite big for your size.” Joked Taeyeon making the other girl chuckled.

“Yes Unnie, Music is soothing for my mind and soul, when i hear music it soothes me refreshes me and makes me forget all my tensions. It acts as a calming medicine for my mind and helps to figure out things more clearly. Listening to music in my study breaks doesn’t distracts my mind which usually the tv shows do. I can say that my world is incomplete without music in short i breathe music.”

“Ah.. same with me then. Well I guess we could be friends.”

“I know you really well Unnie…”


“Uh it’s not what I meant! I-i..”

Taeyeon chuckled by the girl act, how could be someone looks so young and innocent.

A few minutes later they already took their seats on one comfortable couch near the front door. Only for a few minutes Taeyeon could feel they have been knowing each other for years, Taeyeon learned that the the girl is her junior, one of teacher’s favorite, talks a lot, smiles a lot, has a really good knowledge, no wonder if teacher would pick her as their favorite. Her favorite genre is pop and jazz, much surprise she’s her girlfriend’s secretary, the young girl told her she has been running from their meeting earlier with “go to the toilet” for an excuse because she basically doesn’t really like the idea of seating for a couple of hours and listening to things that she didn’t even has interest with, but Taeyeon learned to that the girl seems pretty lucky she could get a perfect score without even trying.


Taeyeon turn her gaze as she hears a familiar voices calling her name. Her smile grew wider as she watch the figure she has been waiting for.

“Hey.” Says Taeyeon , she then stood up following by the young girl.

“Ji-Eun ah! What’s with “I want to go to the toilet” thing!?”

“A-eu.. i-i..”

“No no, it’s my fault, she was about to go back but I dragged her here.”


“A-euh.. y-yes Unnie.”

“Okay then, you may leave.” Says Tiffany coldly to the girl, she basically okay with the condition. It’s just she doesn’t really okay with someone being close with what her’s.

The young girl took her steps with one gaze to Taeyeon that filled with “Thank you” as the other girl nodded slowly with a smile.

Tiffany then walked to the front door, wanted to leave soon somehow feeling to tired and jealous, she got the news that one of cute guy that could really sing and has a music talent has been trying to get to know Taeyeon, and now, she even witnessing her secretary who as known as a great young musician laughed with her girlfriend, and she doesn’t really like it. Other than that, it’s getting worst when her best friend found out about her and Taeyeon thanks to her slipshod this morning as she forgot to keep her ‘things’ hidden in the first place, she was okay with that because her bestfriend was all fine with her and Taeyeon but then again she warned her for dating Taeyeon, she said it’s not healthy for her and Taeyeon, she said she still has her future in her hand and she just can’t give it away just because a girl. But of course Tiffany denied all facts, she loves Taeyeon, so much, and,

Taeyeon couldn’t be the one who will ruin her future, she will be the one who will give her future, Taeyeon, she is her everything all she could ask for, but then again, her bestfriend said that so she is the one who will ruin Taeyeon’s future, she said Taeyeon deserve to be happy, and she could possibly be the one who will ruin that path for her. It hits her hard as much as she could think about it, she got lost and she knew it. She just loves Taeyeon too much so that it’s hurt to even think about leaving her,

Just last night, she promised to herself she won’t leave Taeyeon, not ever.

But, does it matter now?

Taeyeon seems really confused, four hours ago they were fine, Tiffany even asked her for a dinner at restaurant nearby, all she wanted was just take her girlfriend to enjoy their dinner.

“Are you done?” says Taeyeon as she’s trying to walks beside her .

“Yes. I still have another schedule so you don’t have to drive me home.”

“We’ll have a dinner, you don’t remember?”

“What dinner? I barely got some rest, let me finish my schedule Taeyeon.”

“I’ll wait for you, then I’ll drive you home, it’s too dang—“

“No, please, just- go home. I can take care of myself.”

“How about I’ll bring you your favorite Jjangmyun then?”

“Just go home Taeyeon.”

“Fany-ah, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, you better hurry it’s going to be dark soon.”

“Fany-ah please stop. Why are you acting like this?”

“Nothing, I’m just tired.”

“I know, I get it. That’s why I’m here to pick you up, you texted me.”

“I did?”

“Yes, so please, slow down and talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I said nothing, I’m just tired! oh and you could go home because I have schedule with sport sclub.”

“I could drive you to the sport building! Please, Fany-ah?”

“No need to, Josh is on his way to get me.”

With that, Taeyeon stopped her steps. There was a painful stab in Taeyeon’s heart when she heard the sincere words. It hits her hard again.

“It’s okay Fany-ah, please be careful then.” She mumbled in a low tone voice that she make sure Tiffany can hear it, at least she knew that Tiffany would be safe. A cute guy will take care of her. She then watched her girlfriend’s back walked more apart from her until its gone when the red sport car arrived across the street and took her girlfriend with it.

She took her steps to her car, her heart was heavy, Tiffany being with someone who absolutely something special, that’s all she could think of. She let out a sigh, starting to reach her pedal, hoping somehow Tiffany would be right next to her and hug her really tight. She has no idea what is really going on right now, all she wanted was wanted to hug her, and there’s nothing better than having Tiffany in her arms.


It wasn’t really hard as she thought for coming out to her best friends. Other than that, maybe it was the best decision she has ever had for telling her best friends about her relationship with Tiffany. Unexpectedly, her best friends was happy about it, but of course they won’t let her easily like that, she knew that it’s going to be tough as their relationship goes, her best friends threw a bunch of questions to her such as “Are you okay with her?” “How can you manage and survive with The Goddess Hwang?” of course she knew that her best friends was just concerned about her getting hurt.

Taeyeon said it was okay, she actually could manage. Otherwise she felt relieved after telling all of those things from the moment how they were awkward to each other until they began to make it official. Finally Taeyeon has two best friends who will always got her back. She doesn’t need to hide her feelings and pains for herself only after all. But of course she won’t bothers her best friends too, somehow.. it just feels right.

But then again after smiling as she reading her conversation earlier with her best friend, she found herself feeling so empty that she haven’t seen the love her life’s name pop out on the screen.

Her smile suddenly gone as she open her chat window with Tiffany, her last message hasn’t even turn to “read” sign.

“Fany-ah, have you eaten? Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe.”

“Fany-ah, are you up?”

“I guess you’re sleeping.”


She has tried her best searching for an answer. She let out a sigh and sat back down, burying her face in her hands. Never in a million years would she have imagined to be where she was, thinking about the love of her life that whenever could leave her. This is the first time Tiffany behave like this, the girl usually will talk to her what is bothering her and let it out loud so Taeyeon could make her a little bit feels lighter and safe,

“Maybe she’s just tired Taeyeon, you know her schedule very well.”

“You guys have been dating for eight months, it’s normal to argue.”

It’s the last thing her best friends said to her after they finally decided to bid goodbye for sleep. Maybe they were right, she should’ve known that her girlfriend is one of the busiest student at their school, but again all she could do is just sitting right on the edge of her bed waiting for a reply, she just doesn’t want to make Tiffany feeling uncomfortable if she asks many things.

The clockwise keeps moving, her hand feels really heavy for writing her assignment nonstop for two hours, her eyes could lose its balance anytime soon, she still haven’t got a single reply, a minute later, she already drifted to her dream.


She just left.” Says the librarian as she immediately focusing on her computer, Taeyeon let out a sigh, she couldn’t find Tiffany since this morning, not even in her class, she even haven’t got any reply since she sent her ‘good morning’ text. It’s the first time she started her day without Tiffany in it, and it feels horrible, how could she even manage if those chances are going to be true? When Tiffany can’t be hers and eventually gone. It hurts her so much.

“Oh! Kim Taeyeon!”

She then turns her gaze and found the cute boy smiling at her as he makes his walk to the latter.

Sunny, her best friend who was since 3 thours ago being by her side nudging her elbow, “Calm, Taeyeon-ah.”

“Have you seen your bestfriend? I’ve been waiting her for nearly twenty minutes here.” Says the cute boy as she reached the place where Taeyeon and Sunny standing.

“I’m sorry?”

“I mean, Tiffany Hwang. I’m Josh by the way. It’s nice to finally meet you and greet you, Tiffany talked a lot about you.”

She chuckled for a moment. Put a small smirk makes sure that the boy couldn’t notice.

“I don’t know where Tiffany Hwang is. Aren’t you the one who drove her last night?” She could feel the pain in her own words.

“Yeah that’s true, but we promised to have a lunch together, but I didn’t see her since this morning, my friends said they were seeing her in the library so maybe I thought I’ll catch with Tiffany here, but it’s pointless.”

“I’m sorry I can’t help you with any information because I’ve been searching for her too. But I’ll let you know if I find her”

“Okay thank you! Oh I almost forgot, could you please tell her to eat her medicine since she got a headache last night right away? I’m a little bit worried.”

It’s the first time Taeyeon didn’t know that her girlfriend got sick, she will forces her to not going for school right away if only she knew. It cuts her a little bit knowing the fact that she wasn’t the only one who knows it first.

“Yes sure.”

“Right. Thank you, I’ll see you again.”

She just nodded, hiding the painful twitch.

“Hey it’s okay, maybe she’s just busy, don’t event think about it.”

“He really is care about Tiff by the way.” Said Sunny after checking her watch.

“Yes, he is. He’s perfect for her.”

“W—wha—it’s not what I meant.”

“Yes, I know. But it’s the fact.”

“Hey, don’t say that. You’re the one who is perfect for her, she loves you after all, you just have to believe in her, okay?”

“Believe her how? She even didn’t reply any of my messages and made a promise to lunch with a cute guy instead?” Sunny could see the fact hurts her best friend a little, she caressing her back slowly somehow with in hope it could make Taeyeon feels better.

“You know, Tiffany talked about him a lot with me.”

“Of course she would. I talked about him a lot too with you. But the difference is I was kinda have a crush on him and Tiffany was just admiring him because she’s yours, she’s your girlfriend. Am I right?”

“No you aren’t. There’s a big chance they would dating, Tiffany is smart, you know how smart she is right? She can’t has a perfect future being with me. She would definitely has a bright future above her.”

“Hey Taeng, listen to me, okay? We both still in high school and this is our final year. Don’t even start to think about it, as long as you’re happy, live with it!”

“She deserve to be happy.”

“Yes! And she’s happy with you!”

“She’s not.”

“She is!”

“She isn’t”

“Trust me! Now stop it and grab a lunch I’m starving!”


She only found herself hurting again. She only could staring blankly as she watch her and the boy chuckled to each other from a distance. She had been waiting for the girl to finish her appointment with the student council for nearly 4 hours since she got out from her music class right after. The end was just another stab in her heart. She could feels her eyes got teary by the scene she’s facing of right now.

She waits a little bit longer after the girl she has been looking for, waved goodbye to the cute guy with a really wide smile on her face, she still looks stunning in Taeyeon’s eyes even if the smile isn’t meant for her.

“Fany-ah..” she mumbled as she watch the girl had disappeared from the large glass door. She couldn’t face her, not even a second. The girl would rush and ran away whenever Taeyeon being four meters away from her, and it hurts Taeyeon, knowing the latter has been avoiding her for a week and she didn’t even know why. It’s been three days since she got Tiffany’s message that she was okay. The word that came out was just “I’m okay, you don’t have to worry.”

Taeyeon was get all hyped up because she finally received a single reply from the latter, but it wasn’t last long after Tiffany didn’t reply her messages all over again.

Her best friend was convinced her to go to talk to her immediately because that was off limits, she was only getting hurt by herself, but she was stubborn, she just doesn’t want makes Tiffany feeling uncomfortable and her being dumped or maybe they would break up scared her. She was aftaid, she couldn’t take any risk by now instead of waiting silently and watching the latter from afar and makes sure the latter safe.


“You’re doing the right thing, Tiff.” She could only patting her sister’s back who is sobbing her eyes out. She could feel the pain in her sister’s heart, but she thought it was all for the best.

“It doesn’t feels right, Unnie.” She mumbled as she keeps her hug tighten to her older sister, she could feel her tears streaming down her cheeks, it hurts knowing that the love of her life can’t be real.

“Hey, listen to me. I know that you love her, but don’t you think it is wrong? You deserve the best Fany-ah, you have a bright future above you, you could have a small family of your own with a cute husband and gorgeous child, okay? I know it’s hurts but it’ll gone as the time goes by, okay?” She could only nodded. She was confused of her decisions.

She loves Taeyeon, so much that it hurts. On the other hand, she found herself in a room thinking about her future, what would it be the next five years, would she feel satisfied or regret by all of her choices that she made for being with Taeyeon.

She should’ve known coming out to her sister was a bad Idea because she knew her sister would be say things that would make sense, hell, all of things she said was all true and logic. But then again she was hurting for leaving Taeyeon that way, she missed her, she missed her so much, but she can’t do anything about it.

Not when she wasn’t even sure about her decisions, it was a big deal after all. Dating Taeyeon was the best choice she had ever made, but also the worst choice she had ever made in her life, there’s a reason why it is the worst, simply, never in a million years she would thought about hurting someone that she love, never in a million years she thought herself would fell deeply in love with a girl who has the biggest part of her life. Taeyeon was amazing, she’s basically became her everything.

But then again her sister’s word was haunted her all night. She determined all of the reasons why she has to stay, it was all true. Life is short. She has to pick the right choices. When she was younger she probably didn’t understand something basic about tact, but she think it kept faint-hearted people at arm’s distance and that’s not such a bad thing, because life is short and she knows the kind of people she want to live with.

Deep down she know that Taeyeon isn’t the right one to built her life with. Deep down she know it was wrong being with Taeyeon. Deep down she know that she crossed the line. But, the deepest one, she knew she wanted Taeyeon. and only her.

She’s confused. What path should she choose. She’s hurting herself, and Taeyeon.


“You looked messy.” Says Sunny as she puts herself a seat beside her bestfriend who burying her face in her arms while her head laying on the desk.

“Why are you here?”

“Why? Can’t i?”

“But this is my Math Class. Yours will start after this.”

“Yeah right. Not until I was told to move my ass into this class said my professor yesterday.”

“What? That would be great! You could be my chair mate then.”

“Yeah sure, I would love to be your chair mate but I guess you won’t.”

“What? Of course I want to. You knew that I have no friends here.”

“Wait a bit.”

Taeyeon nodded. She plays with Sunny’s tablet as the latter writing her assignment, she’s trying to get Tiffany out of her mind, at least for this hours, she couldn’t concentrate her important lesson if she couldn’t stop thinking about her. she missed her. she missed her love.

“I heard someone recruited you for their company.” Says Sunny as she busying with her papers without looking another direction. Taeyeon nodded.

It was true. Three days ago, someone had invited her to their company to talk about her music career. She was surprised at first because she wasn’t all ready, she wasn’t even graduate yet, and she still wanted to go to music school. But of course the company were convinced her that everything’s gonna be fine, all she need was just to follow their instruction to follow her dream, they convinced her that she would be a great actress and musician with her talent.

But Taeyeon was stubborn, she couldn’t miss a class for her future when her schedule get busier because she has a lot practice with the company. Beside, she has been a messy these weeks, she couldn’t eat properly, couldn’t sleep for less than for hours, can’t even concentrate with her music project, she just can’t, Tiffany had been haunted her all night. Taeyeon was afraid. She was so scared for all the things that might happen.

And of course that would be the main reason to herself to not join the company, at least for now, luckily they said they will always be ready for her, and it made Taeyeon’s heart at ease.

“I haven’t decided it yet.”

“What!? Why? It’ll be a great chance for you!”

“I don’t know.. i-i..”

“Don’t tell me because you’re depressed.”

“What!? I’m not!”

“Says the girl who likes to stares blankly, texted me at 2 AM in the morning “I’m sad.” “I’m so depressed.” “I miss her.” “Hey Sunny, lunch?”, only could eat a spoon of rice, can’t even put a little smile on her face, thinking about a girl who absolutely has been a douche.”


“What? It’s true.”

“Don’t say anything bad about her.”

“Fine I give up. But, Taeyeon-ah.”


“Let me talk to her about this.”

Taeyeon turn her gaze into her bestfriend who just stopped her work, she found her best friend’s eyes filled of concerned, and she was grateful for that. There’s nothing better than look at your side and find someone who absolutely will always be there for you.

“You don’t have to. I don’t mind waiting.”

“You’re insane.”

“I am. I just love her so much Sunny. I don’t want to lose her. Not like this. ”

“I know and that’s why you’re becoming insane.”

Taeyeon could only chuckled at the joke.

“Too bad you’re my best friend so I’ll follow what you said. If not, I would beat her ass to death for neglecting you and leaves you hanging like this. Oh, I surely will.”

Says Sunny as she earning a little chuckle from the petite girl. Her smile appears on her face seeing her best friend finally could laugh a little bit. She was really upset because her best friend’s girlfriend. She really hates it when she find Taeyeon could only seeing her girlfriend from afar with different cute guys each day,

She hates it when Taeyeon could only watching at her cellphone to make a buzz sound, she hates it whenever Taeyeon staring blankly at some direction, she really hates it when Taeyeon couldn’t eat her breakfast or lunch properly, she really hates it when she find Taeyeon in a dark room crying silently,

She really hates it seeing Taeyeon crying out loud calling that name with her soft voices, and the most important thing is, she really hates it knowing the fact that Taeyeon’s smile had been gone recently and also she hates it knowing that Taeyeon still waiting for her and she knew giving up never crossed on Taeyeon’s mind, Taeyeon was hurting, and it was all because of her.

“Morning class.”

Taeyeon and her best friend immediately preparing their study materials,

“Where is she?” Says Sunny as she keeps her gaze searching for someone outside their class.

“What is it Sunny?” Asks Taeyeon following her bestfriend’s gaze,

She could feels a really hard stabs in her heart, and it’s painful. Her hands are shaking, Taeyeon clenched her jaws, suppressing the familiar twinge of pain at the thought of her.

“Tae….” Sunny felt the need to explain but didn’t know how.

“Alright class, we have our new students here, from Math – A. they moved here because some personal reason based on their professor, there is Sunny right there. And our special student who known as Tiffany Hwang, our president of student council, and Josh Lambert, of course everyone knows who the hell he is. You guys must be happy, right? Maybe they can help you with your Math Assignments and I’m sure they’ll not hesitate for giving us a help, how wonderful that finally we got two Top Students in this class, isn’t it?.”

Everyone could only laugh and couldn’t agree more with their professor statement. It was all true. The Two Goddess of their school, how amazing that they could finally meet them inch closer, except Taeyeon.

She only staring blankly and looks down as she could feel her heart breaking down into a million pieces and it hurts her so much. Her heart aching again at the thought being in the same class every three days in a week with someone who absolutely has the biggest strength to breaks her.

It hurts her so much more when she realized that the latter haven’t even give her a short looks. She then again felt so much intimidated, she couldn’t lie that her girlfriend looks really match with the cute boy, her hand slowly searching for something, when she found it, she holds it really tight. She closed her eyes, hopefully all of this was just a dream that she would wake up the next morning and it was all lies.

“Tae..” And no it wasn’t.

“No. don’t say anything. I’m okay, I’m fine.” She mumbled as she still putting her eyes closed. she could feels Sunny’s hand held her back really tight as she tells her everything’s gonna be alright. And she believed her.

Tiffany and the boy continuing their introduction as the crowds are getting wilder, Taeyeon heaved a heavy sigh, Tiffany was like a diamond, Diamond is a strong stone, their beauty always catch everyone’s attention from the first looks, and Tiffany, she is one of those beautiful things in the world, everyone would definitely amazed by her kind personality, her beauty, and her charms.

But unfortunately Taeyeon was the only one who trapped by The Diamond, and she was the only one knew that the shine can blind them. The edges can cut them in way they never imagined.

And only Taeyeon happened to be one of them.

“Oh shit! They sit next to each othe—“

Taeyeon found her gaze turned to her best friend.

“I’m sorry, I just blurted it out.”

“It’s fine.”

Changes scared her. Taeyeon never liked changes. She got used to wake up every morning and see the girl who sleeps peacefully in her arms and a moment later they will enjoy their breakfast and watching her girlfriend’s serial on the TV. And the next couple hours they will spend their entire weekend talks about their future and how they will not separate no matter what, that they will always support each other and their love will never gone, or they will go to the restaurant nearby for lunch and take a walk at the beach until dinner time, they will have a plan to make their dinner on their own, and moments later they will found themselves ruined Taeyeon’s kitchen because their make out session has completely bring the ingredients into some kind of a mess.

She missed her scents through her hair. She missed those soft looks on her beautiful eyes. She missed the fluttering feelings being in her arms.

She missed her.

Taeyeon’s eyes flew open and she couldn’t stop the brimming tears from spilling. She quickly wiped them away as she stared at Tiffany who’s now working on a math quiz in front of the class with Josh beside her and doing the same thing. She could feels that everyone was being mesmerized and stunned that the two of them solved the hardest question in any minute while they’ll need an hours to solve this, even Taeyeon.

Her heart aching by seeing the two being comfortable around each other. How could she even do that to her, this isn’t fair. She loves her so much, yet she can’t do anything about it. she closed her eyes, in hope somehow this can’t be real, her Tiffany, and still her Tiffany.

She wanted to slap herself, she wanted to punch herself as hard as she could imagine. Blaming herself for doing nothing, scared for losing Tiffany, blaming herself for being herself.

“It’s going to be fine. Don’t even think about it.”

She knew she won’t be okay, she never will, when the love of her life would be taken by someone else, she will never be fine.


‘This is for you. Please take this twice a day, I’m sure it’ll work, Umma told me how to made this since I was young. I’m sorry I didn’t know you’re sick, and I didn’t know why I haven’t got your replies. I’m worried about you, Fany-ah. It’s been three weeks, I miss you so much and it hurts. I hope you’re okay, and are you happy with him? He’s cute, isn’t he? I’m sure he took care of you very well, unlike me who can’t even show the world that you’re mine. I love you, please don’t leave.’

It was a letter written by Taeyeon following with a paper bag filled with some pure ingredients, she just found it an hour ago when the letter dropped from her books and saw the paper bag inside her bag.

She heaved a sigh. Her heart breaking into pieces, and each words in the letter hurts her even more, knowing the love of her life had been hurting, because of her. She wanted to cry. Very loud. She wanted to scream in hope everything that is going on isn’t real. She wanted to touch her.

She sat down herself on her comfy couch, bring her touch to the soft surfaces, she closed her eyes, trying to remember how is it feels for having Taeyeon in her arms, how is it feels when Taeyeon’s arms wrapped around her waist while their forehead touched each others, how is it feels like when those dark but beautiful eyes  caught hers, when those lips only for her, when she gets to see her smiles everyday, waking up in the morning and greeted by a really good scent of foods coming from her kitchen, seeing her busy with her equipments and loud noises from the stove.

When she could watch Taeyeon falling asleep whenever she insists to accompany her to finish her assignments until midnight. When they steal glances at each other at school and returning their smile secretly,

She’s hurting, because of her own decision,  she misses her, a little bit too much, yet she can’t do anything about it.

It felt so wrong for leaving things like this, she confused as hell. She wanted to hug her. She wanted her. Until now.

She took her phone, her hands are shaking, presume herself for doing something about it,

To : My Gorgeous Dork^^

‘Taeyeon-ah. I miss you, a lot. I’m scared.’

And she deleted it.


The girl looked pretty busy with a whole bunch of papers on her desk, trying to figure out a lot of essays to distract her mind and heart from hurting, and she’s trying really hard.

In the end she found herself staring blankly at her papers, or maybe she’ll staring at her phone, open up her photos, smiling with no reason when her eyes caught her and Taeyeon’s photos.

Taeyeon is very cute. She always thought. She got Taeyeon’s picture when she looked like a baby who is trying to eat ice cream properly and floats all over her nose, or maybe when Taeyeon sleeps peacefully in her bed, or Taeyeon looked tired after finished her worksheets, or when she looked so gorgeous when sang a beautiful song that made only for her, or when Taeyeon and her spent their weekend and Taeyeon’s savings for fancy dinner.

Or when Taeyeon looked really happy with her silly face and big smile and her “A” Math essay on her hand looking at the camera when Tiffany took it. She remembered that day when Taeyeon ran like a crazy kid shouting her name and playfully told her that she got an A for her Math Essay, because of her hard work and her love who never tired to teach her all night, and of course Taeyeon hugged her, kissed her because she was grateful for having Tiffany as hers.

But Tiffany knew, it wasn’t because of her, it was because Taeyeon herself.


As she heard a voice calling her name, she quickly wiped her tears that she even didn’t realized streaming down her face.

“Ah, Yes?” She turned her body to face that person, and found Sunny stood there with confused looks on her face.

“Hi, Sunny.” She tried to give her best smile.

“Hi. Just wondering if you can help me with these? I’m really suck at this.”

“Ah, here, let me help you then.”

Minutes passed by, Sunny finally understood and solved her essay easily, thanks to Tiffany. Actually she didn’t really wanted to even give Tiffany a single look but too bad she need to finish her physics assignment right away.

“Missing Taeyeon?” Says Sunny out of nowhere.

Tiffany stopped.

“She missed you. A little bit too much.”

“She was sick, tired, confused, hurting, and you weren’t there.”

“Do you still think that i have no idea about you and Taeyeon?”

She gulped.

“Don’t blame Taeyeon. I figured it out on my own.”

Her hearts stopped.

“And don’t worry. I supported you and Taeyeon. At least, i was.

“Not until you left her hanging like this.”

“I suggest you to let her free. Just once. I don’t really like seeing her suffering, so.”

“Thanks for your help by the way. I appreciate it.”


The Day has finally arrived. And it ended pretty well since she had no problem while giving her speech in front of thousands people. No wonders, she had been worked really hard for it, she prepared for the competition around five months. She wanted it. she wanted to be the Winner so she could makes everyone around her proud, and the most important, she wanted Taeyeon to be proud of her. the latter had been helping her since the start, she was always there when Tiffany needed her,

She misses her, and Taeyeon wasn’t there. The whole competition. From round one when she gave her speech until four when she showed everyone her invention. She was nervous and somehow feeling a little bit upset. But she realized too it wasn’t Taeyeon’s fault. She was the one who made it this way. And she couldn’t blame anyone but herself.

“You were great up there!” says A really cute guy walking towards her.

“Thank you. But I’m still nervous though, the result haven’t come out yet.”

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure you’ll come as the winner.”

“I doubt that” says Tiffany as she earning a chuckle from the cute boy

Tiffany and the boy has been a huge topic lately, a lot of people speculating them as a couple, no wonder because they seems pretty close with each other, they spent their lunch together a lot. Like, everyday. Although there is nothing between her and the boy.



“Oooh! Who’s here. We got a really cute young boy.”

“Anyeong noona! I’m Tiffany’s friend, my name is Josh.”

“Oh! I know you! Tiffany talked a lot about you. What a nice boy you got there Tiff.” And that made the boy blushed while Tiffany nagging her sister’s elbow.

“Well, I didn’t know about that but I know that your sister is a really great person noona.”

“Well, thank you- thank you. I think it’s because she’s my sister, our parent’s genes are awesome though.” Joke the older woman following by their laugh.

“Just joking.”

“Okay, so, I’ll leave you two alone then. Bye Tiffany, Noona, I’ll see you around.”

“Bye Josh, thanks for coming and supporting me by the way.”

“No problem!”

The cute guy smiled as he began walking away.

“Yah! Daebak!” says the older woman as she threw her hug onto her sister.

“Your speech was really good! How can I have such a pretty smart sister?”

“It was because of her too, Eonni.”

“What? What her?”


She heaved a heavy sigh as she stared at her younger sister and hugged her again. She actually knew that this was a heartbreaking for her sister, it’s the first time for her seeing her sister wasn’t her sister she used to be.

Tiffany used to smile so brightly, she used to laugh a lot and positive thinking in a lot of things, she used to tell her how her day went pretty well, she used to call her every night, telling her what’s bothering her, she used to invite her to her apartment for dinner, she used to tell her everything.

But she had changed. Maybe because Tiffany was afraid of her, after came out about her hidden secret, she knew it. Tiffany was afraid of her own sister.

“I’m not lying. She was always there. She was always supported me from the start. She drove me home, picked me up, even she would sacrifice her precious sleep for me to accompany me even when she was busy with her schedule, she prepared my things when I needed, she made me believe that I can do it whenever I’m feeling down and wanted to give up.. she always tried to cheered me up, she.. she was always there. I miss her.” says the younger girl as she could feel her shoulder getting a little bit wet. “Hey.. ssh..ssh.. don’t cry. I know, I know you miss her. but I promise everything’s gonna be okay, you still have me. I’ll always be here for you, okay? I know you miss Taeyeon. I know that. But think about it Fany-ah, you deserve someone better, I’m not saying Taeyeon was bad, but. What do you think if Appa knows? How would he react? Beside, you have Josh, I’m sure he likes you, and he can protect you, he can make you safe, he’s worth it.”

“Don’t say that.” Says Tiffany as she let go her sister’s hug. She just couldn’t believe it somehow.

“I’m sorry but it’s the truth. You’re both are girls. And still too young. You both still have a bright future ab—“

“Stop it Eonni. I’m gonna get going now, I think my friend need me now. I’ll see you.”

“Wait! Fany-ah!”

She should’ve stay away from her sister for a little while. Her hearts breaking into a million pieces by each sentences that came out from her sister, reality is way too cruel to be true. Yet she was confused, hurting, lost, but she knew, she wanted Taeyeon.

And only Taeyeon. she has to find a way out of this mess.




“Taeyeon got the first place!”

“Really!? That’s great! I knew she deserve it! she’s the best!”

“Is that true!? Oh god she’s amazing.”

“No wonders, her voices are amazing though.”

“I’m pretty sure she’ll got signed pretty soon.”

“Yeah, she matched as a public figure though. I’ll be her loyal fan.”

“Wow. She’s perfect.

Her hearts dropped. She didn’t know even a single thing about it. Taeyeon got the first place on Nation Competition. The fact stabbed her really deep. Much worse she got the news from people around her. now knowing even a little bit crushed her. how come Taeyeon joined a competition that she didn’t know. She got used to always be there whenever Taeyeon sang.

How would she react? She felt mad, frustrated, confused and hurt. How’s in the world Taeyeon didn’t tell her about this? Is it because of her?

Even she haven’t receive any of Taeyeon’s messages, and it’s been three days. It’s almost a month she haven’t contact Taeyeon. She misses her.

She misses Taeyeon.

“Fany-ah.” She turns her gaze and found Sunny with a bouquet of beautiful flowers in her hand, she tried to give her a smile,

“This is for you.” Says Sunny as she offers the bouquet to the beautiful girl.

“Not from me obviously, anyway, congratulations on your Science Competition! It doesn’t matter if you got the second place, you’ll still number one in Taeyeon’s heart!” Tiffany could feel her heart beating faster as she hears the familiar name came out from her, somehow she could feels her own cheeks are getting warmer, and of course her hearts too.


“Oh my god. You’re stuttering. It’s okay, drop our awkwardness. Technically, you’re still my bestfriend’s girlfriend, so, you could consider me as your best friend too. Okay? You understand? Pardon my words the other day, I was upset with you though, but not anymore, I don’t know somehow it just doesn’t feels right. Oh by the way, you were really amazing on that day! Your speech was amazing.”


“Of course! Taeyeon dragged me the other day, I was taking a peaceful nap until she jerked my apartment and forced me to come with her.”

“I-I didn’t see you..”

“Yeah right. Too bad our front seats got stolen by your fanboys! Fuckin dickheads!  I wanted to shout at them though, but Taeyeon convinced me it was okay because she didn’t want you to be surprised if you saw her at the competition, Although you wasn’t invite us, but we still managed to got the front row seats though.”

She couldn’t stop the tears streaming down her face, she thought to herself that she’s the worst person ever exist in the world.

“H-hey.. you’re crying!? I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”


“Sssshh…. Let’s go to somewhere more quite then, I don’t want your fans scream at me someday because they thought I’m the one who made you cry.” Says Sunny as she patting Tiffany’s back and earning a low chuckle by the latter.

“What’s wrong?”

“I miss her, I miss her Sunny.” Says Tiffany as she turn her gaze down and let her tears falling again, Sunny could feel Tiffany’s hearts breaking, she actually can feel the pain she has been through, it’s so obvious that the latter loves her best friend very much, somehow she could read the whole story that they have been through, she hugged her. Sunny could feel her shaking, struggling to take her breath.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

“It’s my fault. I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not. You’re just confused, and it was normal. I know how hard it must be for you.”

“H-how did you—know?”

“I’m sorry can’t help my ears from hearing something at the backstage at the competition day. You were talking with your sister while I’m in a rush to go to the toilet. And I saw you, crying. Like, it’s not the first time I saw you crying, didn’t i? and I heard your sister’s words, it must be hurt like hell, isn’t it?”

Sunny could hears her crying much louder this time,

“It’s okay, I’m not going to tell Taeyeon, it’s your right to do that. Well, how hard I really tried to think about it, your sister was right though, that you still have a bright future above you and it’s your decision too. But for me, it doesn’t matter who’s the person who you better to be with, if I love someone, I’ll believe in them, I’m not letting that person go, ever. Especially when that person love us as much as we love them, I believe that person will always support us, and will always be there for us, even if the world against us. Your sister said it’s not normal right? Well, it’s normal actually. Nothing’s really matter when you’re falling in love, nothing can help it, if you love that person, you should be with that person, how come if you’re falling in love with a little bit difference than others and they said it’s not normal? Falling in love with the one who you wanted the most is not normal? You have to be with someone who’s the opposite gender to be normal? It’s ridiculous. You hear me?”

Those words was like a magic to her. it was all she needed all this time. It made her hearts at ease somehow and she doesn’t want it other way. She felt lucky knowing there is someone who genuinely cared about her, she closed her eyes, trying to process all of those things they have been through, remembering those warm feelings when her arms wrapped around her. She’s officially missing her.

She closed her eyes again, trying to distract herself again by leaning and resting her head on Sunny’s shoulders,

“I thought you were some kind of selfish ssh—but then again, I remembered that day how you wrapped your jacket around her, how soft  your eyes met hers, how cared you were when you’re with her, how you were always there for her, and I noticed how much you had made her changed. A year ago, she didn’t like the idea of talking with people a lot, the idea of spending her weekend outside, the idea of working hard on her Math, the idea of falling in love with the right person, the idea how much is it important for having someone you can lean on, and she had changed. She tried to give her best on her flaws, she tried to talked people a lot, even though most of them ended by an awkward goodbye-“

Tiffany chuckled, following by Sunny’s gesture wiping her tears away

“She tried to made a joke whenever I’m around, she tried to eat more healthy which was she said so she could protect you forever, yeah, childish reason, she tried to worked really hard on her music career so she doesn’t have to keep savings just for take you to a fancy dinner, she wanted to give you everything. She was all alone. You knew she left alone. Her dad passed away since she was very young, her mother ran off out of nowhere, her brother never tried to contact her, with a little bit money from her dad’s company, she made it this far, creating a really good music every now and then, she worked hard, as an artist who absolutely with a great talent, you knew how her voice could make everything’s feels better, having her own apartment by herself, and then you popped up, made everything for her felt so much better, she loves you, a little bit too much.”

Her stunning smile appeared on her face, she held the bouquet really thight,

“Even when the rumors about you spre—“

“What rumour..?”

“Uh.. You and Josh..?”



“That’s not true! Does Taeyeon believe it!?”

“Uh.. Y—yes..?”


“Don’t blame her, you were so close with him, yet you were so far with her. But she was still there, waiting for you, how freaking crazy that girl though, she said she wanted you and her to be like you guys used to be, unless you said so yourself that you guys couldn’t take it your relationship any futher.”


“Yes. Taeyeon, my best friend. Oh and I forgot, she once told me that, you said something that hurts her the most.. what is it.. uh..”

“I felt like shit Sunny. I’d never know how she felt about things, even I didn’t know that I caused a lot of pain to her..”

“No. you caused a lot of happiness to her. trust me. Oh, she said no matter how much she loves you, she guessed that you both can’t handle the relationsip for the longest time as much as she wanted to..”

“And why is that..”

“Huh? Didn’t you said that when you and Taeyeon having kids you still could meet each other secretly without their Appas knowing? Doesn’t it mean like.. you both couldn’t last as long as much as she wanted to?”

She could feels her hearts sting. She remembered it. she remembered that day when she texted her those words, she remembered how cold Taeyeon’s voices when she called her that night to tell her good night. But the next day, Taeyeon treated her like nothing was happened. Nothing less. It hurts her more knowing Taeyeon had been hurting a lot, because of her.

“I-i-.. didn’t know..i’m sorry.. i’m sorry..”

“Ssshh.. don’t cry! Neo! It’s okay, she always said that she’ll always love you no matter what happen”

“I—haven’t got any messages from her lately.. is she angry with me?”

“Never. Not at once. She will never be angry with you, like I told you, you are her first love, the one that she love too much, you’re her everything, but lately she told me that she felt like it’s useless and she didn’t want to bother you with her annoying messages, so she stopped, at least for a while she said.”

“What should I do.. ?”

“It’s your call. Oh there’s a letter from Taeyeon by the way, here. Read it at home, she said.”

She took the pink envelope with a little hearts emoji in the center and her name on the top left side of the letter.

Taeyeon, the only thing that matters now.


‘Fany-ah! I know you didn’t noticed me yesterday, your admirers took my seats, it’s okay though I wasn’t ready for you to noticed me, but, I’m so amazed. How can I have such a precious someone like you? I love you so much Fany-ah. You’re really amazing, Congratulation on your competition! You’ll always be number one in my heart! I’m so proud of you, how I wish I can show the world that I have such a wonderful girl like you. Fany-ah, I still believe in us. Thank you for everything. Oh I got the first place! Did I make you a little bit proud? Because you made me really proud yesterday! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I’m afraid if I ever bothered you, I don’t want you to hate me, I worked hard for you Fany-ah, it was all because of you, you’re my motivation to get through this, whenever I’m feeling down I’d always imagine how nice it would be to give you everything you need, to make you feel special, take you to dinner, a lot of things! Fany-ah, thank you, for always being there. How’s Josh by the way? Let’s not talk about him. I love you Fany-ah, more than you could ever imagined. i know you have nothing between him and you, the first rumor got me shocked, and how stupid I am to believe it, but then I realized, you wouldn’t let things easily like that, so I chose to believe that we’re still ‘us.’ Please, talk to me soon. I will always welcome you with warm hugs, I’ll always be here. Tell me what’s bothering you, I’m sorry if I had a lot of mistakes that made you this far from me. I miss you, and I love you. You’re my angel, and you will always be.’

Her hands are shaking, she sat down herself on her couch, searching for an answer, never has she loved someone that much and never has she wanted anyone that badly.


She stared at her reflection in the mirror – her hair perfect, her makeup flawless and her dress beautiful. And yet her heart was numb and broken and her eyes were sad and blank as she looked into them, it’s been almost two months, and she was so sure it’s killing her slowly, she looked at her phone and her smile appeared on her face when her eyes caught the wallpaper, showing the love of her life with her beautiful crescent smile on the big podium, she was so beautiful, Tiffany was like an angel.

It was a photo from two days ago, when the latter had her competition, she was there, watching her, Tiffany was amazing with her abilities, somehow Taeyeon secretly hopes that Tiffany was only a secret that she had to hide so no one can see how amazing she is, but reality was cruel, and she knew that.

There was no messages except from her best friend Sunny, or the agencies that lately have been offering her a huge deal, but she stood there without giving them any replies, she wanted her to get involved in every decision she’s going to make, she wanted her by her side and support her. she misses her. She started feels empty and empty hearts began craving, she starting to lose her hope, she was confused, she wanted to talk to her, she wanted to know what was going on,

And here she is, in her own apartment, in a couple of minutes she would drive herself and sitting in a room with a lot of people and smiles plastered on their face while she’s thinking how miserable her life is, or maybe worse she would catch a shadow of the person she loves moving around with her arms locked by his neck, witnessing something cruel that may breaks her hear over and over again and cries herself to sleep.

She was more than ready to face the night, she walked towards her door and unlocked it. she turned her head into the dark road, it was quite, really quite, the winds that stabbed her bones directly made her feels worse, she misses her again, should she grab a thick jacket to cover her short dress? She doesn’t think so, maybe she will catch a cold and probably will get the chance for not going to school, it’ll help her to heal herself and maybe she could get Tiffany out of her mind for a little while,

She heaved a sigh, taking another heavy steps,

She turned her gaze to her side view,

And it was surprised her. her eyes caught a silhouette, it was dark, but she could recognized it.

It was her.

Her hearts dropped.

She was dreaming, wasn’t she?


She finally said the words she’d been dying to say, her whole body relaxed and her heart felt lighter than ever.

She sensed the girl jerked up as her mouth parted let out a little gasp.

She couldn’t still believe what’s happening right now.

She has never changed. The latter that four meters away looks stunning in her black dress, and her black hair grew longer than the last time she could watch them this close, her eyes shining like they used to be, nothing has changed,

“Fany-ah, I’m sorry.” Taeyeon still standing at her place, she’s trying to keeps her distance so the latter won’t run off like she did. It’s been eight weeks, eight weeks has been lifeless without Tiffany by her side. She just wanted to hug her. Kiss her. Touch her.

“I missed you,” mumbled Taeyeon as she closed her eyes and finally let the tears of helplessness and frustration roll down her cheeks. She’d has to find another way out of this mess.

The other latter could feel the pain as she watch tears streaming down on the older girl face. She doesn’t know what to do so she just stood there blankly.

“I’m sorry Taeyeon-ah.. I needed sometime to think.”

There was a painful stab in Taeyeon’s heart when she heard the sincere words and saw the serious gaze but she managed to not flinch.

“For what, exactly? Breaking up with me?”

Tiffany could feel her heartbeats faster as hearing the older girl’s words, like a really sharp knife stabs her heart repeatedly.

“I don’t want to break up, Fany-ah.” Says Taeyeon, starting to take her place much closer to the latter, much to her delight the latter didn’t ran off like she did before. Taeyeon’s eyes were blank, sifting through the memories hidden behind the fake smile and cheerfulness she had been staging for what felt like forever.

She gently letting her fingers brush the skin on Tiffany’s hands, loving the feeling.

Tiffany’s eyes met hers and something within those usually soft eyes made Taeyeon’s heart pound almost painfully against her chest.

Tiffany smiles tenderly as she cups the brownie’s face very gentle, reveling in the feeling of the soft and smooth skin against her finger pads.

They could feel their bodies shivers as the skin got the chance to feel other’s skin again. It felt like forever, for the both of them.

Taeyeon looked down. She felt her hearts sting remembers those painful days when she had to live alone by herself, facing the reality alone and now there she is standing in front of her and haven’t say something or may say something that will breaks her heart again and again. She’s not ready to lose her, she never will. Not now, not ever.

“Taeyeon, I’m here.”

She turned her head to look at Tiffany and even though it was dark, she could still make out her features, her tears never stops falling down her cheeks. She missed her too much,

“I’ve missed you so much.” Says the latter won’t stop caressing Taeyeon’s cheeks and wiping her tears away, how incredible those feelings whenever she touched the girl, she couldn’t believe it reality right now.

“I’ve missed you so much too. And it hurts.” Taeyeon said as she held her hands that trying to wipe her tears away really tight and kept it on her cheeks, trying to remember how good Tiffany’s smell, how her strawberry fragrance’s smell when they meet her sense.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Please, I don’t want to break up..” Taeyeon roughly lets go of Tiffany’s hand—tossing it aside, and she hugged her, really tight that she doesn’t want to let go.

And It surprised her. Tiffany wrapped her arms around Taeyeon’s waist, very tight as she won’t let the person she loves so much let go again,

“I’m not breaking up with you.”

“How can i..? I love you so much Taeyeon.”

“Then why did you leave? You left me. Here. Alone. I’m scared.” Taeyeon questioned, keeping her voice soft and gentle. They needed to clear some things up because she was confused and if things were left hanging, she might never figure it out.

“Do you still love me?”

“Of course I do!” claimed Tiffany as she cups her face again, those eyes were never changed, still beautiful as the shining moonlight tonight.

Tiffany fought the tears that were starting to blur her vision. She straightened up, inhaled and steadied herself.

Taeyeon reached her hand and closes her eyes when the woman leans in, their lips meeting instantly in a slow and intense kiss.

Finally, It felt so amazing for having those lips against hers again. The feelings were incredibly amazing, she felt so much lighter that she ever did. Tiffany was the only cure for her. and it’ll never change.

“I’m so sorry..”

“I  was so confused.”

“Confused? What’s wrong? Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“I’m so sorry..”

“It’s okay, you’re here. You’re back..”

“My sister knew, about us.” Her voices are shaking, and Taeyeon could feel it. she was surprised, this is the only thing in the world she doesn’t want to hear, it could possibly ruin her right now. She was right. All these time, Tiffany had been hurting too, she was confused and Taeyeon thought it was normal, it must’ve been tough for Tiffany, she knew in the first place that Tiffany once talked about her sister who’s pretty religious, but she believe as long as they keep it as a secret, they will be okay. And she was wrong, all this time Tiffany has been facing the fears alone. Taeyeon was scared, scared what she might to hear the next part.

Tiffany keeps telling her what’s bothering her these two months, she said sorry to her a couple times and Taeyeon could only nods and give a peck on her forehead she tried to give her sign that everything will alright, they will be alright, although they won’t.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

‘No, you were always there. You gave me strength to keep believing in us. You never stopped trying.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t know what you’re facing..”

“No Taeyeon, I’m sorry I was so selfish for keeping this things up for myself and I was too afraid to face the cruelty, i..i was afraid of losing you, th-they told me that I might ruin your future, and I started to realized what I was getting myself into. i..i’m scared. I’m so sorry I wasn’t tough as you wanted me to be, I’m sorry I ignored you, i.. I’m sorry. And yet, you’re still here.”

“I don’t deserve someone like you Taeyeon.”

“Stop it! it’s not your fault. You were lost, and confused, and I understand. No you’re not going to ruin my future, in fact, I will. What will happen if they know about us? You—“

“No. you won’t. I realized that the only thing I needed. Is you. I don’t need anyone else, I just need you. Two months.., knowing you weren’t by my side every morning when I woke up. It hurts.”

“It’s okay.. I’m here. I’m here now Tiffany.”

“I know.. i—“

“Ssh.. stop it. I’ve forgiven you, you understand? At first, I don’t want to lose you, I don’t care I’m not going to let you go, but.. if it’s the case, Tiffany. Maybe I’ll try.. I’ll try to let you go.”

“No! you’re not! Taeyeon, listen. You’re the main reason why I still want to breathe, you’re the reason why I worked really hard, you’re the only one I want to make proud, you’re the one who I want to be with every day, you just don’t know how much you mean to me. I already decided. I want to be with you, I choose you, I choose us.”

“Now all you have to do is just stay by my side, please? I won’t ever let you go again. I promised, I promised this time. Taeyeon, I love you. So much, I don’t how I can live without you.”

“But.. your sis—“

“No buts. It’s okay, I don’t mind waiting for her to understand, can you? I’m sure she’s going to change, someday. I’m sorry if I’m too selfish because I don’t want to let you go and I might ruin your music car—“

“Stop. You won’t.” she hugged her again, and Tiffany could feel a thousand butterflies in her stomach as she enjoys Taeyeon’s warm embraces. It calms her. It makes everything feels better. Taeyeon, is her everything.

“I love you. I want to be with you,” she whispers against the brownie as the latter nuzzles against her neck.

“Too bad I can’t have you for forever.” Says Taeyeon strokes her hand gently,

“And why is that. I want to be with you, forever.”

“We can’t. you’re going to have a good looking husband, gorgeos kids th—“

“Stop, I don’t want to have kids If it’s not with you.”

“Beside, you’re good looking enough to be my wife. I don’t need a husband as long as I have you. You’re more than enough, you’re perfect.”

She smiles brightly as she hears the latter’s words, she tighten her hugs, she couldn’t believe  the situation she’s facing right now. She was all ready to face the nightmare, and there she was, holding the beautiful girl in her arms. She looked down just to see her love closing her eyes nuzzles between her neck with her smile and how the moonlight shining brightly, such a beauty to be hold.

“I failed you Taeyeon. I got the second place.”

“You’re not. You made me so proud. The judges are too stupid to picked you at the second place, I guess they were drinking yesterday.” Earning a loud chuckle from the young girl, she could feel her own body shivers by the voice she hadn’t heard in days.

“They weren’t. I’m the one who’s really nervous. But I promise I’ll get the first place, and make you proud.”

“You made me so proud Tiffany. Only if you knew how proud I am when people keeps their eyes on you, how they amazed by hearing your theories and stuff like that. How many head turned when you’re passing by. I don’t know If I could feel more lucky than this.”

She then again chuckles, the words that came out from Taeyeon was incredible. How she made her feels so special, Taeyeon was always great with her words. She should’ve known.

“I love you, Taeyeon”  Says Tiffany as she gives her a peck on her neck, Taeyeon had missed it dearly as proven by the goosebumps on her skin and the warmth that coursed through her, as if her body was responding to the voice that awakened her senses.

“it’s almost 9. The party will start anytime soon. Josh might have waiting for you.”

“What are you talking about? I have nothing to do with him. I came here, I want to go with you. Not him.”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I am.”

“But I don’t want to go.”

“Why? You don’t want to go with me?”

“No. I just feel like not going, I want to be here. I missed you so much. I can’t hold, kiss, touch you there.”

“Then, I’ll stay.”

“No! this is your high school precious moment, you should go. I’ll be fine, I’ll pick you up at eleven, you got it?”

“No, I’m not going. I don’t care, it won’t be a precious high school moment if you weren’t there, beside, my precious high school moment is only when I’m having you around. So don’t worry.”


“No. let’s go inside, you’re freezing.”

It felt like forever since Tiffany had stepped at the house, and nothing has changed, she could still see a big figure of photo that Taeyeon hang on the wall. It was last year, both of them were having a dinner and that’s when Taeyeon asking her to be hers. Their smile was so bright, and pure.

She still smell the familiar room fragrance through her senses.

Taeyeon took her jacket off and put it on the couch, and let Tiffany sits and give her a light peck on her forehead before she drags her own feet to kitchen and she’s back with a bucket of hot water and small towel on her hand. She slowly put the towel into the water and wrapped it around Tiffany’s hands. Taeyeon knew that the latter was more freezing than her, Tiffany couldn’t be happier, seeing how soft Taeyeon when she took care of her, she kissed her cheeks, and that made Taeyeon surprised and blushed.

“I want to be a song writer.”

“What? Why? I heard a lot of agencies have been offering you to be a singer”

“I don’t want to be a public figure, beside, you don’t want me to. Right? I don’t really like living a life without you in it, I mean, living a life as public figure can’t make me do anything I want to, with you. And I want to be with you, as much as I can. Being a public figure means I have to be careful with anything. And I don’t want to.”

“It’s okay. It doesn’t mean you can’t do anything you want, I’ll always here, I’ll welcome you everyday, you don’t have to worry, I support you now, as long as you’re happy it doesn’t matter.”

“No. it’s okay, being a song writer is  a great thing, I could make a lot of money, I promise we’ll survive.”

“It’s not about the money, it’s about your future. I don’t want to be the one who will ruin the pat—“

“You won’t”

“Then, why not? I’m sure we can handle this, we’ll get through this.”

“I don’t know.. I’m not sure..”

“Taeyeon, a few agencies has been offering me too, as a model.”

“What!? And?”

“I don’t know either, I want to let you know first.”

“I think that’s great, you’ve always wanted to walk on that catwalk, you’ll look great. And you can still keep your touch to your politics or science hobbies.”

“Then let’s do this together.”

“Are you sure?.. we’re going to be a public figure?”


“Let’s not talk about it right now. I missed you.” Taeyeon sensed her girlfriend’s doubts, she hugged the latter tightly.

“Please don’t leave me again. I love you.” Taeyeon mumbled as she let go her hugs and nuzzles into crook of Tiffany’s neck instead, she inhaled the scents that has been never change.

“It’s okay. I’m here.” Somehow she understood, and she too promised to herself, she won’t go anywhere again, leaving Taeyeon alone. She pulled Taeyeon closer, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder. “I really missed you and I love you, too.”

“Please, don’t leave me too. Promise you’ll always here.”

“I promise.”

Taeyeon was here, and Tiffany really wouldn’t want her to be anywhere else than with her.

“I’m so sorry,” says Tiffany as she moves closer to her, hugging her somehow hoping it could make Taeyeon believe she won’t leave her, again. “I’m sorry,” she whispers against her skin as she presses her lips onto her shoulder. “I love you.”

They knew that the both of them have their own path. But when they’re together, the path join, and they believe they couldn’t have found a more perfect path other than they have now.

Tonight is theirs. Even The Moon couldn’t have that night to the fullest.


Screen Shot 2015-07-25 at 11.33.11 PM



Chapter one finished! i hope you guys like it, i’m sorry if it;s too long or something, my plan was to kept it short and one chapter, bu idk how i end up like this^^

oh, don’t forget to leave what you’re thinking about this story. it’ll be such an a great experience to get any responses from you since this is my first Taeny ff on aff with my basic english skill. ^^

OH AND THANK YOU SARA EONNI for giving me a lot of useful things and corrects my mistakes^^

twitter : @jazzatta1


36 thoughts on “Perfect By Atta

  1. Beuh 21000 word beuh… udah sekilas ngelirik di aff sih, liat komen2 disana kaya nya menarik… hmm hmmm tapi buka lapak dulu, 21000 word harus siapin mata dulu buat baca…


  2. already read this on your aff and i like it

    please dont make tiffany like the one who gonna leave taeyeon, in ‘Flawless’ tiffany do this role again, make it something different please. not just place and situasion.

    You know what? cause your story always make me cry huhuhu… so make it romantic maybe or funny or dangerous hahaha.

    keep writing


  3. Tbir sya selalu menyukai ffmu,dan saat ini sya mau bertanya pada anda,kenapa pake bahasa inggris kenapa?????sya ga bisa bahasa inggris thor…kalau pake tranlate jad ga nyambung……ini tdk adil buat sya tahu…..pleaseeeee versi bahasa indonesianya ditunggu ya,kumohon thor!kumohon!!!!!!!ditunggu ya


  4. Ini adalah Ff pertama yang pernah saya baca dan menghabiskan waktu hampir 2 jam.. apa gara2 pakek bhsa inggris jadi connect otak saya rada2 lemot atau sungguh panjangnya ff author yang bagaikan sungai amazon yang tak berujung… atau mungkin karena faktor x… entahlah… biarkan saya dan yg di atas yg tau…
    Tapi satu yg jelas.. saya paling bahagia kalau baca ff itu yg puuuuuaaaaannnnjjjjjaaaaanng pakek banget… sensasinya itu kalau baca ff ini kaya membekas-membekas gimana gitu #ecie #plakk #abaikan.
    Buat author, SALUT.. saya beri 50 jempol yg sudah saya sewakan dari para tetangga buat author. apalagi pakek bahasa inggris.. rasa2 nya kaya saya mau ujian nasional lagi.. bacanya njlimet sampai bener2 paham…😂😂😂 but is okey.. english better than korean. Saya belum paham bahasa korea 😢😢.
    Lanjutin thor… masih setia nungguin ff yg chapter… rasanya udah lama banget gak update.. ayoo thoorr semangat.. bahagiakan para readers tercibtamu ini #pd…
    Sudah dulu thor saya nyampahnya…


  5. Wkakakakkaa what the heck????? In the new version? Hahha gapapalaa nyambung2in dikit yg penting ngerti =)) yeah welcomeback atta:;)) this is so ‘perfect’ too..


  6. translate bahasa indonesia please,,, kebapa pake bhasa inggris?? tadinya gue udah semangat elo update thor,, tau2 nya jedarrrrrr pake bahasa inggris,, okey diteanslate in dulu pake bahasa indonesia trs update lagi ditunggu falling, mistake, she keep me warm sama confused nya thorr jangan pake bahasa nya patini lagi,, gue jadi kek taeyeon cengo entar


  7. Jinjja :v
    Baca ini kudu pelan2 hahaha
    sekalin mengasah kemampuan my english language :v
    diliat dri alurnya, dsni taeny hampir berpisah karena si panny pergi gtu ajh ninggalin taeyeon karena kakaknya/ayahnya pengen tiffany nikah dengan namja dan punya anak. right ?? or am i wrong ?? haaha
    nyesek pas taeyeon mnta putus sama panny, tpi panny sama sekali gak mau putus sama tae cause udh kelewat cinta.
    Oh my butuh waktu bwt ngartiin setiap kata2nya hahaha
    pertama apa mereka akan bener2 happy ending or sad ending ??
    hahaha i choose number one :v
    taeny terlalu indah untuk dijadiin sad ending wkwkwk
    semangat terus bwt ffnya ^^


  8. Awal nya gua semngaat bnget tau elu update thor .. eehh jedaarrr gua mendadak jdi taeyeon yg cengok banget, sumpah gua gk ngerti klo full english begini .. pliss thor translate dong(?) 😦 .. kemampuan inggris gua pas-pas’an 😦


  9. Translet please k indo dah lama gak belajar bhs inggris nich thor jd kagak ngerti and kagak paham mana dulu bhs inggris nilainya jeblok lg hadew…


  10. yeayyyyyy atta blik lgiiiii
    bawa ff taeny seneng bngetttttt tpi pas dbukaa udah senyum lebar” jingkrak kyak orang gila pas diliat bhs inggris smua
    hika hiks hiks sedih bngett please translete ke b.indo dong aq pengin bnget baca please ya


  11. Have a friend like sunny must be perfect too,,always support taeny,,ga kyk unnie nya ppany ihhh sebel bgd bikin taeny sengsara..


  12. hiyaahhh lu mah tega bgt thor sma org yg buta bhs inggris cem gue *hikss
    udh pke’y bhs inggris di tmbah lg ff nya yg pnjang bgt cem rel kereta, ya mkin sedih dah gue baca’y haha
    tpi gue ttep baca karya amazing lu ini thor mski lwat bantuan google translate haha
    entah bgaimana cara’y meski translatan’y acak adul, tpi gue msih bsa dpetin feel dri karya lu ini thor #authorjjang
    gue msih berharap loh thor ini ff bkalan ada versi indo’y haha


  13. Wow is it a new version? Kkkk aku kaget loh authornya bikin ff one shoot pake b inggris tapi over all keren bgt gilaa walaupun pke b inggris masih nge feel bgt ceritanya T___T ok its enough.. ku tunggu one shoot english vers yg lainnya thoor 💙❤


  14. Hahahaha, bacanya musti pelan pelan, duh thor sebenernya ada part yang ga di mengerti 😂😂😂😂, tapi author is daebak bener bener seorang penulis yang handal, kept to always make a great fanfict thor ^^


  15. Saya menyerah thor😭😭 baca sampe setengah doang.. entah kenapa pas bagian pertengahan sampe abis kaga baca udh kelewat pusing wkwkwkwk walaupun masih rada ngerti tp tetep aj ngerangkai di otak tuh sulit maksud nya apa wkwkwllw maap yaakk thorr ane tidak terlalu ngerti wkwk oke! Berharap ada indo version nya hiks😢 , tp overal ane liat” sih seperti biasa thor cerita mu pasti menarik walaupun masih menerawang wkwkw okelah cukup disini cuap” saya . Di tunggu ff chapter nya apalagi mistake kekeke~


  16. Sampe baca 2 kali buat bener2 paham sama alur n ceritanya,, awal baca kurang dpt feel nya mungkin karna bahasa juga hahaha
    Pas baca yg kedua baru kena feel nya, dan lagi2 emank jazzatta itu DAEBAK !!! dan ini english version wooaahhh..
    Buat yg sepanjang panjangnya thor n berchapter tp cepet updatenya hehe
    Still waiting for update another your ff,, saranghae jazzatta ❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙


  17. ah lu emang bisa banget bikin gw bombay malem” hhahaha. dapet banget ini di awal udh bahagia” dulu bareng mulu, tiba” fany nya confused dan coba ngehindar dr tae, tp untung nya tae ttep nunggu fany balik. ada chap 2 nya kah?


  18. nyerah thor..baru buka ff yg ini
    udah kelewat seneng krn sempat lupa baca..pas di buka ehhh pake bahasa tippalay..guee kagak ngertiiii..
    sumpah deh…
    indo dong


  19. Author-nim,menurut aku sih ya,feel nya lebih dapet kalo pake bahasa inggris.apa mungkin karena sering baca ff bhasa inggris? Btw,I’m Glad itu part 2 dari ff ini,atau beda cerita?
    I still waiting for your next fanfic! Closer and She keep me warm.


  20. Hey there! Manggilnya Thor aja kah?

    Well I think it’d only be appropriate to introduce myself first. Greetings! I’m dukoro 🙂
    Not sure if you ever heard me before but well I just finished reading your story.

    Kayaknya pernah baca juga di aff deh. Anyway, komen2 nya yg diatas lucu yaa. Pasti kamu cukup famous sebagai taeny author 😀

    Back to the story, I am sorry to say that I still find couple of grammatical errors here but its okay and quite decent for your first time. With regards of the story, whoaaa sumpah panjang banget ini ceritanya. Feel nya dapet dan honestly speaking, I feel myself drawn into his story nicely that I didn’t even realize I’ve spent over 30 minutes to read this :O

    Keep writing and have more courage to write story in English 🙂
    Feel free to contact me should you need any help ^^


  21. yahh pake inggris, translet dong thor wkwk
    ga terlalu paham kalau bahasa inggris, jatuhnya jadi ga menikmati karena ga ngerti jalan cerita ╥﹏╥
    tapi pingin bacaaa -.-


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